


Trio Rocket Rules

by DemonOfTheBattlefield



Category: Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Christmas Party, Doujinshi, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Funny, I had to study for an exam and came up with 18 prompts instead, M/M, Muk needs a hug, Psychic Abilities, Shipping, Shopping, Team Dynamics, Team Rocket (Pokemon), The Author Regrets Nothing, Toxicboltshipping - Freeform, Truth or Dare, authority abuse on Team Rocket grunts, gym leaders meetings, illegal use of a Tentacruel, it can be implied somewhere or absent in other chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:50:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26670172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonOfTheBattlefield/pseuds/DemonOfTheBattlefield
Summary: “What happened to you, Lieutenant? You look like you just faced a Sharpedo with a toothache”“Tried to make Koga wear a Christmas sweater, not much different. An experience I don’t recommend”18 prompts for many tales featuring Sabrina, Koga and Surge' adventures! Heavily inspired by Pokespe manga and events. I hope you like it!
Relationships: Anzu | Janine & Kyou | Koga, Anzu | Janine & Matis | Lt. Surge, Anzu | Janine/Hayato | Falkner, Kyou | Koga/Matis | Lt. Surge, Sabrina&Koga&Lt.Surge, Sabrina/Giovanni, others
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Summary

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with all this nonsense while studying for an exam (I regret nothing). There are many ideas but I haven't finished it yet ... I'll try hard to not let it end up incomplete or forgotten, so stay tuned!  
> Prompts for next chapters can be requested and I'll decide whether to accept them or not.  
> English isn't my mother language and it shows ...  
> I obviously own nothing nor I gain anything from this fanfiction, only the plot is mine.

Prompts:

1\. Christmas party at Team Rocket's headquarters  
2\. Fuchsia Gym's flyer "No slackers, absolutely NO hormonally driven teenagers interested in the gym leader's daughter"  
3\. Surge tries to steal Koga's scarf out of spite. The result… it's not pretty.  
4\. Sabrina must go shopping for a mission. Those two make her day impossible.  
5\. Tentacruel at sea out of spite against Surge. The idea of organizing everything was Giovanni's. Surge enthusiastically accepts, Sabrina only because Giovanni will be there and Koga categorically refuses. Surge takes it upon himself to convince the ninja at the cost of having to drag him. At the time of the "costume fitting" Surge notices the scars of Golbat's fangs on Koga's arms and tells him that with those holes he looks like a drug addict. The ninja retorts with the first line of the paragraph.  
6\. Surge arrives at the port of Fuchsia City with MN Anna doing an illegal amount of noise.  
7\. Muk just want to be hugged by Surge, Koga is spite embodied and Sabrina put up with them just for the fun.  
8\. Giovanni reflects on ninja traditions and power.  
9\. Puns on the meaning of Kyo.  
10\. Surge proposes to adopt a motto for their trio like the one Jessie, James and Meowth use, which he heard on TV. The idea gets rejected.  
11\. Kouga gets suddenly turned back to his child form. Giovanni orders the two teammates to take care of him until his scientists find a way to resolve the situation.  
12\. At Silph S.P.A. doujinshi and fanfictions on toxicboltshipping are circulating between the grunts (absolutely “not” encouraged by Sabrina) and the two protagonists don't exactly take it well.  
13\. Following Team Rocket's defeat in Saffron City, Sabrina is the one who rescues them from the fall of the palace. Taking refuge in a cave near Monte Argento, the three heal their wounds in the mountain's healing hot springs and try to organize themselves to rebuild the team, now without a leader. Fugitives for two years, will they be able to tolerate each other in this forced coexistence?  
14\. All their interactions end up being annoying, painful, awful, frustrating, dangerous and mindblowing, in that order. Surge /&/ Koga.  
15\. Surge convinces Sabrina to go and annoy Koga while he meditates. The psychic accepts both for fun and to get rid of the American. "So, what is he thinking about now?" “About how much annoying you are and I agree. Wholeheartedly "  
16\. Team Rocket's veterans hold a secret truth or dare contest each year to initiate new soldiers. The initiation test, a real annual slaughter, consists in trying to steal Koga's scarf. After ten years, the results amount to 347 victims of poisoning and zero successes. Giovanni is secretly amused by the rehearsal so he never did anything to interfere. “Why do you make such a fuss for a simple scarf? You behave like they touched your non-existent ass instead! " Eye-twitching, piqued answer "Since when does the existence of that concern you?" Boisterous laugh strangled by his murderous glare "And the scarf IS important to me!"  
17\. "What happened to you, Lieutenant? You look like you just faced a Sharpedo with a toothache "" Tried to make Koga wear a Christmas sweater, not much different. An experience I don't recommend "  
18\. Periodically, the Pokemon Association organizes meetings between all the gym leaders in which everyone is forced to participate, much to the annoyance of at least 5 out of eight gym leaders. One of those times, the bored ex-soldier decides to keep an eye on Kouga's interactions to see if that "emotionally constipated asshole" (his favorite nickname) behaves the same with everyone or if he should consider himself special. Sabrina questions him about his motives because she finds them stupid, but the two are discovered.


	2. Christmas Party when September ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... And that's why Janine wears her scarf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Born from prompt 1 & 17\. This is one of the episodes which brought this story to life

-Merry Christmas! - the American exclaimed enthusiastically, wrapping a muscular arm around the girl’s shoulders with a toothy smile. He loved Christmas! Sabrina shrugged him off with telekinesis as usual, but in her annoyed snort you could hear an imperceptible sigh of amusement. She could practically be said to have almost adopted that big kid by now.  
\- Merry Christmas, Surge. Did you at least prepare the tree without throwing everything down like last year? - it had been a terrible experience in every sense of the word. In front of Giovanni too! Sabrina still felt the urge to disappear when she thought back to the blame she had sensed in the boss's mind that day. Not that it took psychic powers to perceive it, as Koga had pointed out to her as soon as Giovanni was distracted to scold the actual culprit.  
Culprit who had even the nerve to pretend nothing happened when questioned. Like now.  
-Who, me? I would never dare. I am the most cautious person you know! - he answered in fact, grinning.  
-Yes, like an elephant in a glassware shop- the two jumped slightly, turning to the source of the sarcastic reply. Obviously, they found Kouga leaning against the wall looking at them amused. At least this time he hadn't turned upside down from the ceiling.  
-Oh, to what do I owe so much sympathy, sunshine? - Surge answered, grinning in turn, minimally touched by the dig. Kouga snorted: he hated that nickname (like all his other idiotic nicknames) and Surge knew it very well, but he deserved it so he said nothing.  
-Are you aware that we are at Christmas and that Halloween has been over for two months, yes? - Surge continued, undeterred. The ninja had stubbornly insisted on dressing in his black ninja uniform anyway, regardless of whether the party required a livelier palette at least for decency. Even Sabrina had made an exception to the rule after three hours of insistence on the Vermillion leader’s part (or incessant whining, it depends on who you ask). At least he showed up with a sparkling new red sweater with a smiling reindeer designed in the center, because at least one of them must understand fashion and traditions! The Japanese man made such a visibly disgusted face when he saw it that even Sabrina had burst out laughing. Yet Surge thought it was perfect!  
Clearly, those two didn’t understand anything about fashion. And to think that after that experience he had even bothered to buy a matched sweater for Koga too!

“What happened to you, Lieutenant? You look like someone who has just faced a Sharpedo with toothache" Sabrina told him that day more for the sake of conversation than out of actual curiosity, seeing how he had emerged from their shared room as bruised and beaten in body as in pride .  
“Tried to get Koga to wear a Christmas sweater, it's not very different. Definitely an experience that I would not recommend " he simply replied, throwing himself on the sofa with a pout that wasn’t immature, at all.

-I already have a calendar, Surge, don't worry- was the lapidary reply. The three entered the room roughly adorned as a Christmas party room and Surge literally threw himself on the pile of gifts stacked under the tree by tradition. “Enthusiastic as a little child” the other two thought, with a kind of loving amusement. Not that they would ever admit it out loud.  
-Don't be sulky, you two! - Surge exclaimed, emerging from under a fir tree smaller than himself in a gesture that would have been almost comical if it weren't for the seriousness with which the giant in a reindeer sweater and military pants was managing it all. - Come here and unwrap your gifts, I bought them especially for you this year!  
-Does that mean we also have to thank you? - Koga commented with a sly spark in his sharp eyes. Surge accepted the challenge and grinned, as he always did when interacting with the Japanese even knowing that their shenanigans annoyed Sabrina to no end. –I wouldn’t ask for better- he answered in fact, bursting out laughing and handing the packages to his colleagues. The lights in the room flashed for the sure blackout that would occur tonight if someone didn’t unplug a few plugs from the dying socket on the wall in time.  
Sabrina and Koga exchanged an almost guilty look for a moment. They hadn't believed that when Surge brought out the whole Christmas party idea he was talking seriously, so not only had they not given it any thought, but they hadn't prepared anything to give him nor helped with the preparations. Seeing the room so carefully decorated even if it looked more like a circus than a living room, the tree overloaded with lights and balls and the lieutenant with that radiant smile as he handed them the gifts was almost a squeeze on that heart that neither of the two really believed they had. The year before the party had been the boss's idea to celebrate a particularly happy year for Team Rocket, so no one had thought about it that much, but this was different. They accepted Surge's gifts in silence, looking down as the giant awaited their reactions with trepidation.  
\- What do you have suddenly? Did the cat eat your tongues? - he commented after a while, seeing that neither of them showed any intention of moving or speaking. Breaking down the sofa further he made himself comfortable, determined to put the same movie back on television for the thirtieth year in a row so that he could comment on how disgusting it was all evening but still watching it like every other Christmas. Finally the other two seemed to decide that the role of wax figures wasn’t for them and they sat down as well. Sabrina used her psychic powers to change the channel, but Surge didn't let her this time. He had arrived prepared, as they say. He laughed when his faithful Raichu stepped out of the pokeball to lie down on the sofa next to him.  
-Even Raichu wears those obscene Christmas hats? - Sabrina commented, taking a potato chip from the appetizer table. Raichu sticked its tongue at her, sensing that it had been insulted.  
"Someone has to teach the style to you other mummies," said Surge, who often pointed out that their outings sometimes seemed more like business meetings than anything else.  
-Only in a Trick Room that could be called style, Lieutenant.  
-The one in black uniform, purple cuffs and that horrible red scarf spoke-  
3, 2, 1 ...  
-It's not horrible! It is a uniform passed from generation to generation among the ninjas, not that you could understand anything-  
It was obvious. It was a spiel that had been going on for so many years that by now the American could have quoted that answer even in his sleep, but this would never mean he would have given up the opportunity to tease the ninja that way. Patience and discipline immediately went to fuck themselves as soon as his traditions (or the scarf) were touched, literally or metaphorically, and it was all the lieutenant was waiting for. It was too funny when that icy control of his broke even momentarily for such trivial things.  
-Sure, sure- he winked amused at him and immediately turned to Sabrina, both to see if she liked his gift and to avoid ending up bald or dead from thallium poisoning. Fortunately, no murder would come true because the ninja left the room to answer the phone.  
-A spoon? - you could hear all the world’s exasperation in Sabrina's voice, who had just opened the small package. To hell with her guilt for not bringing anything to reciprocate - Really? Again?  
-Something against spoons, miss mystical eyes? - was the "innocent" answer.  
-You've used this sorry excuse for a joke eight times already, Surge. It got old.  
-Well, you have no sense of humor, girl- commented the American, laughing again at her indignant expression.  
-Who did you just call girl?!  
\- Shut it down, you two, you are too noisy! - the ninja's voice thundered, taking by surprise the two quarrels who almost jumped from the chair, in their enthusiasm they had not heard him return.  
-Do you always have to appear out of nowhere like that? - Sabrina shrieked irritated by the annoying habit of her colleague, who in her personal ranking played almost on a par with Surge’s obnoxiousness. Almost. The ninja just grinned at her, sitting down in the usual chair as if he hadn’t just done anything wrong. No matter how many times she told him, Koga seemed to derive a sadistic satisfaction from making people jump out of their skin.  
-Hey, ninja boy, stop gathering dust in the shadows and come here to finally get your gift!- Surge invited him with a lopsided smile holding the package innocently in his direction (he had chosen it on purpose, he would not have deprived himself of the satisfaction even if Giovanni had called them in that same moment). The other stared at him and sighed.  
-In case you forgot I'm older than you, Surge. I strongly suggest you to stop calling me “boy” and I've told you a lot of times already.  
-Ah, always such a fuss for a couple of years. You're only three years older than me, so I can call you whatever I want. Sabrina is the little girl of the group- he burst out laughing loudly, unaware or perhaps blatantly ignoring the snarl of pure outrage of the girl who threw the spoon at his head out of spite.  
-Ouch! You are so mean! It's not my fault if it's true-  
-Surge, what is this thing? - was Koga's deadpan voice to prevent Sabrina's massacre of Surge again.  
-A scarf! Since every time I steal it from you you always try to kill me dramatically I have decided to be magnanimous towards my friend and buy you a new one as a peace offer! How does it sound?  
-A … pink scarf.  
\- Still a scarf - said the lieutenant with a shiteating smirk. He loved pissing off Koga so much that it was almost indecent, even if it was Sabrina who emphasized this last detail (and often too). He didn't care, though: it was damn funny and that was enough for him. Kouga sighed again and rubbed the edge of his pointed nose nervously, praying for a little patience that did not come because the American had the courage to persevere.  
-Come on, I’m sure that you’d look good with that, ninja boy! - Surge was laughing so much that he feared he’d fall on the floor at any moment and even the impassive Sabrina could not hold back her vengeful satisfaction in seeing the poison master so miserable.  
Kouga's glares ere enough to freeze Moltres, though.  
-I will never wear a pink scarf not, not even in a million years. Forget it.  
-But what a gym leader of “Fuchsia” ’s would you be otherwise! You have to keep the honor of that title high!  
Kouga turned the fabric over in his hands for a few seconds, probably thinking about whether it was worth using to strangle Surge or if strangling the gym leader were even worth the effort.  
-Surge ... - was a sound somewhere between a growl and a warning. In spite of all his discipline and efforts, he had never been a particularly patient man and the soldier knew it. He wouldn't last long before he exploded.  
-A true heartbreaker to match the Soul badge’s pink heart form- he kept on teasing, now almost doubled over with laughter.  
-Fuck you- was the lapidary answer of the ninja, who vanished from the room red in the face.

Two hours later ...

-Janine, come here for a moment- the ninja commanded, trying to make his tone gentler because after all it was Christmas and his daughter was still a child. The little girl hurried as much as she could and in a flash she found herself in front of her father, her eyes sparkling with curiosity when she noticed the uncharacteristical tinge of hesitation in his behavior. She had never seen him hesitate in front of anything before.  
-What should I do, father?- she finally asked with the most adult tone she could parrot with her still immature voice. Too immature. Even someone like Koga, strict and uncompromising as a ninja as well as a father, felt a squeeze where his heart was supposed to be when he thought about it. Janine was still too young to always be alert and ready for duty around him. It wasn't too late for her to keep deluding herself with a childhood ninjas couldn’t have for a few more years before starting to walk the path toward the life of a Team Rocket's ninja master - assassin, thief, inquisitor, torturer if the need arise.  
Unlike what happened with Koga, at her young age Janine would still have time as long as he never refused any of Giovanni's orders. He wouldn’t deprive her of those snippets of happiness more than was strictly necessary. Kouga glanced at Surge's red package and then at Janine, who was still awaiting orders with an expectant look in her puffy face.  
"It seems that even you can make yourself useful for once, Surge"  
A very thin smile stretched his mouth and he motioned for his daughter to come closer. Janine was overwhelmed with curiosity and obeyed. The spark of pure naïve delight radiated by Janine as she took the pink fabric in her little hands was such a warm caress that Kouga would later accidentally forget to order Muk to choke Surge for his insolence.  
-Merry Christmas, Janine- he said after a while, still trying to force his ever so harsh voice to express all the fond affection he normally didn’t know how to free from the bars of his throat. The result obviously wasn't great, but Janine must have felt it anyway with children’ sixth sense because she gave up all hesitation and jumped with all her energy to hug her father. Janine was so happy at the time that she vowed to keep that precious gift for life if needed.  
-This is your first ninja scarf, Janine. It is a symbol of your own identity as a member of our clan and will one day be part of your official uniform. I know you will take good care of it. Come on, try it now, I want to see how it will look good on you - the little girl was so excited she could barely hold still, but for once he wouldn't even care if she ran all over the house.  
-Thank you very much, father!!

Team Rocket Headquarters ...

-So, did you like the scarf, grumpy bat?  
\- No I didn’t, Surge. And stop inventing new idiotic nicknames every day, there would be many other things for which you could use what little brain you have - the Fuchsia City gym leader replied grumpily, but somehow lacked the usual cruel edge and it didn’t go unnoticed at all.  
-You liked it- confirmed the electric gym leader, grinning from ear to ear. In the blink of an eye he left the position on the wall where he had waited for his colleague and put his arm around his shoulder to prevent him from running away. Sabrina noticed the scene from her desk and decided not to intervene.  
-And even if I did, which I didn’t? Just because the person giving the gift is an idiot it doesn’t mean that the actual present is unpleasant. I simply happened to find more useful applications for it than the one you originally suggested - even giving his usual reply, the ninja deliberately avoided eye contact with both Surge and Sabrina, who exchanged a glance.  
A sudden understanding fell on them.  
-Did you wish Janine a Merry Christmas from me too?- Surge asked with a knowing, definitely pleased smile. Like a hunter who has finally got his prey trapped after a long and dangerous chase. Like the hunter who hasn't realized his prey is an Arbok and as elusive as one. Kouga vanished in a cloud of smoke before those two could start pestering him for their own amusement.  
Damned him! thought Sabrina. But Surge's smile only got bigger.  
-He's crazy about me, admit it- he joked, taking a piece of cake from the table.  
-You’re a moron- retorted the psychic. Definitely annoyed by their antics but above all by the delicious (wasted!) opportunity of get back at Koga.  
Lost.  
Again.


	3. Dating Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Threats of evirating poor Falkner turned into a nightmare for everyone involved, namely Koga.  
> Giovanni and Sabrina are frustrated. Surge has diabolical ideas and Koga absolutely refuses to cooperate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was almost done by the end of October, but the need to study too many things in too little time totally jeopardized my plan on posting it in time. Anyway, I heartfully thank all those have showed interest in this little madness of mine with their kudos, reading, but mainly that anon who commented urging me to post just when I had started to think that maybe I was deluding myself and nobody really cared whether I update this story or not.  
> So, the chapter is dedicated to you, Anon. May it please you like the previous one did =)
> 
> I hope it will make you all laugh a little in these times we're living. Enjoy!  
> (and please leave a kudo/comment, I'm begging you ahahah) 
> 
> P.S. University really damages my sanity if this madness is what comes from it. 7k words of pure madness =)

Chapter 2 – Dating Advice

-Why does it say "No time wasters and absolutely NO teenagers in full hormonal crisis" on your gym flyer, eh ninja boy?

-None of your business, Surge. Everyone writes what they want on their gym and I have my reasons for excluding certain categories - the ninja explained in a totally rational way, sitting in the chair opposite to that of the meddling American.

-Yes, but until last week you had no problems with anyone, it seems to me- Sabrina pointed out, still annoyed that the two companions had independently decided that her personal office at Silph was to be used as their scheming room. The fault was actually Surge’s, who simply came and sat wherever there was an armchair as if he were at home and since Kouga had poisoned the doorknob after the only time the Lieutenant broke into his office , then by exclusion Sabrina's office had been elected as neutral territory.

Among other things, in addition to Surge, that joke had cost at least a couple of unsuspecting recruits. The only funny thing, Sabrina thought, was that Koga had been reprimanded by Giovanni for more than an hour for that bad shot against his colleagues.

-What is it, some "teenager in hormonal crisis" has harassed you, grumpy bat?

\- Shut up - was the lapidary reply accompanied by a poisonous glance.

-Oh, come on, give me satisfaction for once! You can never be told anything that you jump worse than a Seviper! You have chosen your Pokemon really well, you! - snorted the Lieutenant, not so much for real annoyance, but because he hated being ignored. The attitude of the other gym leader was therefore at the same time infuriating and challenging.

Koga continued to stare at him with a look so sharp it would have made lesser men run away with their tails between their legs. Then, when both Surge and Sabrina thought she would never answer, he surprised them.

-They have to stop entering the gym just to hit on Janine! - he finally blurted out, almost violently squeezing the cup in his hands, probably imagining the heads of the aforementioned "criminals" and the two gym leaders could not help but burst out laughing in his face That's all? All that mess and that long face just because some guys had asked Janine out?

Sabrina and Surge looked at each other for a moment amidst laughter, tacitly agreeing on the action plan. How to introduce the concept to Koga safely (for them)? Surge as a good man knew that Sabrina had just dumped the barrel.

-You are aware that your daughter is now seventeen, yes? It is normal that at that age some boys started to flirt with her! After all, she is a ninja not a nun. Indeed, cute as she is, I'm sure that if you weren't there to terrorize every living being who just thinks about breathing her same air at this hour she would already be engaged since ages! - explained Surge with his usual sly air, yet Kouga's murderous aura did not fade in the least at his words. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to paraphrase it just like that. Not that Surge hadn’t already learned the hard way he would never get nowhere with his words where Koga’s capricornian stubborness was concerned.

However, trying would not kill him (hopefully).

-He is already the third challenger this week to show up at Spoon-Girl’s gym here telling that a terrifying monster lurks in Fuchsia making anyone who gets too close to wish they were never born ahah! Even Nurse Joy reported a worrying increase in cases of Arbok poisoning! Do you know anything about it, by any chance? - Surge said mockingly, amused by the fact his ever stoic and unfazed colleague was having such a hard time accepting that, unlike him, people could actually like _enjoying their own life_. People like his daughter, for example. Make fun of him for it was always the highlight of Surge's day nowadays, in this times of absolute boredom. Sabrina always complained he enjoyed playing with fire too much for his own good, that he’ll end up burned sooner rather than later. Or severely poisoned to death. More fitting, perhaps.

Howewer, Surge never listened because he lived for the risk. Like now.

-I don't know anything about it- Kouga energetically denied, even knowing that none of those present were stupid enough to believe him. Sabrina's raised eyebrow spoke volumes by the way.

-Nothing at all? Are you sure none of those challengers looked dreamly at Janine before their sad encounter with fate?

-But there should be challengers for the gym badge, not my daughter's hand!-the poison master finally snapped, crossing his arms in intense frustration.

-Well, not just the hand actually- Surge commented, too carefree for his own good. He realized he had done a huge bullshit when he heard Sabrina look up from her computer and mumble an "Idiot!" in his head and the temperature of the room suddenly dropping by several degrees.

Fuck

Koga turned to him abruptly, crucifying him with such a cruel look that Surge felt like he was being teared apart and then his wounds laced with venom. He’d rather cut his tongue than admit it, but he had never felt more terrified and excited as much as he was then.

-What did you say? - would have given him only this chance to take back the joke and thus save his ass.

-Nothing, nothing, don't you get so pissed, ninja boy- the gym leader of Orange City raised his hands in an unequivocal sign of surrender, apparently managing to appease the beast with the unsheathed fangs. He decided he was still too young and handsome to die so soon, so he changed his strategy. However, he was saved by Sabrina's interruption, in turn annoyed that their dramas had attracted the attention of the soldiers who occasionally patrolled their floor.

-How melodramatic you are, Koga. They don't have to go to bed together, it's just a date, for God's sake! What is the problem? Surge was suddenly grateful that the bullseye had finally moved away from his head.

-Like hell they do that, she's too small for that yet! - the ninja barked with the air of one who would have truly gutted without remorse any poor wretch responsible for such an outrage, if such a case had ever occurred. Surge suddenly hoped that no one was stupid enough to propose it to Janine _and_ let Koga know.

-It's not even a matter of distrust in Janine. I know well that she is able to face the world alone, eventually she would be able both to choose the person she wants by her side and to make anyone who wants to harm her regret being born. She grew up wise and strong, like her mother. It’s not like there isn’t anyone worth of her (even if it’s true) or like they can’t stay with h-

-"Be". It's be, not stay. They can't "be" with her. You should refresh those English lessons, Koga- Surge commented, happy to be able to play the part of the teacher for once. Sabrina nudged him in his arm, leaning slightly to whisper for his ears only.

-No, Surge, I'm pretty sure he did mean "stay", like "stay in the same room as her". Call it Freudian lapse or not, but it sounded like that.

-Ah, shit. He got it bad.

-That was what you heard, the fact remains that that brat from Violet City must learn to be respectful if he doesn't want me to hang him upside down on top of the Lavender Town next time he asks for a da ... a dat ... bah out with her in short!

-The word you are looking for is probably "date" -The blond gym leader came to his linguistic rescue, chuckling at the black-haired’s snort of pure outrage at the association of that cursed word to his daughter. Lt Surge drowned that sound in his boisterous laugh and added in a singsong voice:

- _Da-te_. Appointment, Koga. Not such a difficult word to pronounce! You know that thing when people want to enjoy life with someone else for a while? It's not really that repulsive, you know? It would also be good for you every now and then - when she heard Sabrina laugh out loud he knew he had the support he needed to sink the blow - In fact, especially you. With that sour attitude and murderous scowl you have on all the time it would seem that you haven't seen anyone for thirty years! By the way, when was the last time?

Sabrina commented -If your theory about how one’s sex life affects their own general attitude is reliable, last time definitely was when Janine was conceived- Surge smirked in her direction because he too thought that was the case.

-No business of yours- Koga exclaimed instead, dismissing the whole idea because he thought it was stupid and because he knew that all this interest on his damned collegue’s part actually hid something. And since that 99.99% something would have been a nuisance to him then it had to be nipped in the bud. Unfortunately, the boss Giovanni had forbidden him to carry weapons of any kind after the accident of the poisoned doorknob ... He really felt the need of it, wringing his hands wishing for a knife that would not appear.

-I have decided! - the lieutenant rose to his full height and pointed his finger at the ninja's chest (oh how he missed those kunai) -The only way to get you to accept the idea of Janine’s dating is for you to make everyone a favor and get back to date, yourself! So since I want to be the girl's best man and as your friend (Koga glared at that) I will offer you my obligatory support to help you find someone who wants you! All for free because you have to admit that I am a wonderful man- he grinned amused, but withdrew his finger in the event that a Golbat would pop out somewhere and bite it off. You never know with Koga.

-Forget it.

-The offer is not negotiable and that's final, civilian.

-Fuck you- he snarled, crossing his arms once more and glaring at the American as a trapped animal.

-Your attitude toward me right now is doing nothing but proving my theory right.

-It is written nowhere except in those stupid magazines that you stupid Americans read that people's behavior is influenced by their relationship status. I'm not proving anything right.

-As you say. The fact remains that it is true.

-Guys, I wouldn't want to disturb your flirtation but it's also about time you let me work in peace. It is already 5 pm. If at the end of the day I have not finished yet and I receive a call from the boss it will have been all your fault and I will make you pay, understand? - Sabrina threatened in a tone that did not allow replies, so much so that the two quarrels, even if they snorted, obeyed immediately.

-Yes, never let happen that Miss Perfection is reprimanded by the boss for a serious fault such as not having completed a report! How could Giovanni live without his daily "We have not found any fool to rob, my companions are idiots and for the rest I pass and quit"?- Koga joked as almost every day, making fun of her evident crush on the head of Team Rocket. Sabrina threw him a paperweight aimed at killing but unfortunately for her the ninja's reflexes were always faster than her telekinesis.

-Quiet girl, now we are leaving! Come on, Koga, come on, we have your date to arrange.

-Die.

************************************************************

"There will be nothing gne gne gne!"

That afternoon Surge spent the entire stretch from Saffron City to Vermillion City mimicking his colleague. That sour and castrating way of his really grated on his nerves. Since forever, it was a feeling under the skin that he could not ignore, an irritation halfway between simply wanting to throw him a punch and punch him so at least he would be forced to recognize the fact that Surge exists and get over it. If it hadn't been for the fact that he would have more annoyances and repercussions than satisfactions, he would have done so for years.

Unfortunately for him, a furious Kouga was something he first warned his enemies about as a punishment from heaven. Not so much for his sadistic and violent nature, not too dormant even if decidedly muffled lately, but for the relentlessness with which he undertook the mission to destroy his target until not even the memory of it remained. And it wasn't just for Pokemon battles or missions for Team Rocket.

Not wanting to find himself the next day with (at least) the poisoned coffee, Surge opted for the less painful solution and let go of those tempting thoughts.

Who would have thought that in the end the big problem was some nonsense like Janine's love life?

Surge laughed at that thought. Not that it was stupid in itself, but the tragicity with which she was complained by her colleague made it more than a comic situation! Kouga was so pissed off just because some kid dared to try it with his daughter, instead of taking the role of a Gym seriously and challenging its trainers, who (if he wasn't sure he was defying death with a capital M) would have sent her coaches on purpose flirting with the girl only to see that expression again. Maybe Sabrina was right when she teased him. He loved playing with fire too much, but he couldn't care less about getting burned.

In any case, absurd as it had been that afternoon, he had to admit that he much preferred this to the days when they had discovered he had become a father only after a long and (for them) frustrating interrogation. None of them were particularly open people when it came to private life, not even Surge himself despite his outgoing personality, but Koga took the whole concept of privacy to absolutely surreal levels. Okay that ninjas had written it directly on the employment contract, but that was excessive! They didn't even know he was engaged and bam! suddenly a little girl appears. Surge wanted to be the best man, damn it! And Sabrina would have been a perfect bridesmaid, finally dressed as a woman. Ok, for that comment she would have already killed him.

The lieutenant hoped the psychokinesis would not extend to even reading comments made in the privacy of his own mind 67 kilometers away.

Surge remembered perfectly the day when they discovered Janine's birth. It was the time when Giovanni had begun scouting the region in search of trainers to recruit for his cause. Blaine, Koga, Lt. Surge and the younger Sabrina had been quick to accept, but how to blame them when they were offered the opportunity to exchange a life of boring gym fights with brats for the prospect of wielding real power?

Surge would never regret the choice he made. The only annoyance was the frequency of meetings that Giovanni insisted on calling to communicate the same things everyday: "Guys, we're in the shit, Mewtwo this Mewtwo that". No one ever dared to arrive one second late, even though the meetings were always organized early in the morning (Giovanni was a proud supporter of _"The morning has gold in its mouth"_ ). One day, Koga arrived with his eyes surrounded by a hollow black and trembling hands, the next day one step away from being late, the next one Surge realized that he could not keep his eyes open and had decided to save him in corner by distracting the boss with various questions. When he met him in the corridor after they were all dismissed, there was no answer to his question if there was something wrong. His hands still tingled at the memory of how much he had wanted to strangle him in frustration at that moment (had he said how much that attitude got on his nerves?). Annoyed beyond all limits because he had spared him a reproach so the least he deserved was to know what the heck was going on, when he had slammed the office door and decided to extort his answers by force if necessary, he was left stunned.

Koga was in the armchair’s corner, curled up in an awkward position with his hands clasped to his chest and a flap of the scarf tightly intertwined in his fingers, deeply asleep. Surge thought amusedly at how it had seemed so out of the world that in order to explain it he had immediately believed in a trap. A kind of absurd test to see if the American was on guard while he pretended to be asleep or some other devilry of which the other would certainly be capable. The fact that he was simply sleeping had not even passed through the antechamber of his brain: with Koga there were always traps and tricks, if there weren't then there were the same but you hadn't seen them yet. Yet, being Surge the type to take every situation head on, he approached boldly, deliberately treading on every noise convinced that at any moment a rain of kunai would throw him across the room and the illusion would collapse. Failed test and the usual sympathy (namely none).

When the ninja didn't move at all, despite the heavy military boots making a crazy noise, the proverbial alarm bell went off in Surge's head.

He was really sleeping like a human, it wasn't a trap or a test. He had to laugh because he was convinced that the ninja would sleep upside down from the ceiling like a bat if and when he turned off that damn switch. He couldn't explain why, but it remained a funny image.

Even after that, no sign of life. Koga only emitted a sound of annoyance (did he sense Surge's presence even in his sleep?) but overall he didn't move. The American's back had a sudden surge of pity, empathizing with that absurd position the ninja had chosen to nestle for who knows what reason. The promise of sciatica was felt in the air. However, the worrying thing was that if Surge, the proverbial elephant in the glass shop, had managed to catch him in such a vulnerable position then no shit, there was really something wrong.

If only that damned ninja hadn't been more stubborn than a mule and deigned to answer when someone happened to worry!

But he did not believe that even a face as sharp and harsh as his own could seem so calm in sleep… Drowsy like that could have seemed almost docile, vulnerable.

Surge grinned as if he made a great joke. What a word he had used! Tze, maybe soft like a razor. The Japanese was as poisonous as his dear Pokèmon even in the smallest movement.

Acidic and lethal, a real dark weapon dressed in human skin.

 _“Ninjas are just weapons, tools forged so that a master can use them to pave their own way. Nothing more, nothing less"_

Like a mantra which he himself still struggled to believe, Kouga repeated that phrase every time the soldier made fun of him on the subject. Only a weapon to be wielded at will, a person who consciously abandons his own individual humanity to serve someone else. And who better than a soldier could understand that feeling? Because in the end you can disguise yourself as human as you want, but if your very essence consists in being an instrument of destruction then you cannot lie to yourself. You can also use a scythe as a walking stick, but you won't change its nature.

As a result, all three of them found themselves as the élite of Team Rocket. Giovanni had granted them all what they most desired: a purpose. Power too, sure, and no one was complaining about it, but what really tied them to the team was having a purpose. A former soldier who had left his country of origin behind, a psychic with powers feared by all and a ninja whose traditions were being suffocated by the progress and peace that (in Surge's opinion) were leading Kanto to an idle complacency. Three gym leaders looking for more than acting in front of the bed-wetting brats who still showed up with Pidgey at the gym.

So he decided that he could also wait a few more hours before making him pay that day. He would have been magnanimous (and then he would never let him hear the end of it, of course). He then closed the door in silence and left the room full of thoughts, terrorizing a couple of recruits headed to the sleeping beauty's office and determined to organize a merciless interrogation with Sabrina.

After all, had he said his good heart would be limited in time?

Thinking back, that was the mission that had given him the most trouble ever. A couple of times he had even been tempted to tell the boss everything and have him frame the colleague with questions that he finally couldn't escape! He didn't do it just out of respect. No, now that was a disgusting lie. He had not done it just because he wanted to be the one to take the satisfaction of cornering him so much that he could not find any other way out than to spit the toad. And then he would brag about it for the rest of his life (which would probably be very short then).

However, the experience proved to be incredibly mind-breaking, embarassing, painful, frustrating, dangerous and infuriating, in that order.

But in the end it was worth it. After two and a half weeks of unclassifiable attempts, the success decided to stop spitting in his face and the truth came out: his daughter was born, but her mother had died in childbirth so the delays and the total lack of rest were due to the mix of mourning and the care of the newborn.

Surge sighed heavily, because honestly he had thought of something else altogether, but in the following days he had organized to pass by Fuchsia City secretly every now and then to see how they were doing.

That of now was a bit the same thing. In the sense that at least this time the frustrating and potentially deadly part came after the admission of the problem and not before, but this did not change the cards much at the time. Only considerably reduced the amount of future ball-breakings (and it was already a lot). Of course, if they had asked him for a certain and sure way to resolve the situation quickly, he would have directly tugged that little gym leader of Violapoli and told him either to prepare his will or to overdose on intelligence and date Janine in _total_ secrecy. Not being able to expect people to become awake and self-preserving overnight, he had chosen the plan that avoided the most murders and that promised to be infinitely more fun for himself.

The boat noisily docked in the large port of Vermillion city, his great pride, and the lively electricity in the air put him even more in a good mood, ready to design the details of his plan. The same sailors were stunned when he passed them without even paying them a glance, much less the usual shove (what could have distracted the scary gym leader so much? They had been suddenly miraculous if none of them had been thrown into the sea for fun?). Here is the situation, he thought, turning the corner to avoid those spineless chickenhearts of the Pokemon Fanclub (they would surely spoil his mood just by the sound of their shrill little voices), the plan was to make fun of Koga with the help of Sabrina (she had accepted or not, in the end? he had to ask her) arranging a series of embarrassing and potentially absurd dates with the condition that he could be left alone only if he in turn left Janine's love life alone. Not that the girl herself seemed particularly inclined to go out and date around, so that wasn't the problem, Surge thought, but he was doing her a favor anyway. Plus, as his personal bonus, he would have had a perfect opportunity to nail him and have fun at Koga’s expense for as long as that farce lasted. ~~He knew Koga wouldn't accept any of them anyway.~~

Entering the gym with a huge smile that would make Cheshire Cat envious, he slammed the heavy doors hard and headed with martial steps to his room. Categorical order that that day the challengers could go fuck themselves because he was busy with a much more interesting project!

He paid no attention to the bewildered faces of all the trainers in the gym.

So… Let's start with Tinder?

*************************************

-Surge?

-Yes?

-Pray tell what in the name of Arceus are you doing?

-I'm taking a picture.

-A picture.

-Yes, a picture for your new account to be truthful. Koga stared at his collegue, who was currently crouching behind a couch, blinking in confusion.

-Of course- as if it were a normal thing - And which account would it be that I just can't think of?

-Tinder!- Surge exclaimed enthusiastically, with his camera still in his hand and a sofa far too small to hide his size (these goddamned short kantonians!). Koga frowned so visibly that Surge could've mapped that thin line even from under his scarf mask.

-And since when would I have an account on that miserable app?

-Since I promised you that I would help you -DO NOT USE SLUDGE BOMB!-

Peace to the soul of that poor sofa, but he died like a hero. Surge just had time to shield himself with that before becoming the equivalent of the wc net!

-Are you crazy? You could have killed me!

-That was the goal- his eyes flashed dangerously, never leaving Surge's own in their fury -Muk, you can return. For the moment.

"Great, now even that smelly ball of toxic waste glares at me" Surge thought with a hand over his nose to avoid dying from the hideous stench emanating from the monstrosity. To think that this other madman has the courage to even use it as cloak or armor!

-Stop whining, I knew that unfortunately you would dodge it- Koga went back to his chair, dismissing the murder attempt as if it wasn’t a big deal. Surge was flabbergasted. Unfortunately for him he was well used to Koga’s utter, genetic lack of empathy by now.

-That you tell your sister! Anyway - goddammit, the camera was a heap of molten metal now! -I was telling you, before you tried to kill me, that yesterday after having thought of a way to get you an appointment I signed you up on this new site that is becoming popular among the trainers in my gym, but I needed a photo to activate the account and not finding any I thought I'd take it in secret!

-Of course, we have seen how invisible you have been! You even hid behind a sofa smaller than you. But how did you do the soldier job there in America? Not to mention you could be heard from afar when you walked in - Koga commented harshly, glaring at the remains of the photo like it personally offended him. Surge at that moment felt an urgent need to throttle him for that arrogant attitude, but he calmed down thinking how much he would have enjoyed taking revenge in other ways.

-I was an excellent lieutenant, thank you very much. Anyway, are you going to let me take this fricking photo or not? - he asked, pulling out his cell phone from who knows where.

-No. Not before at least you explain again why I have to undergo this colossal imbecillity of yours - he said, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive manner. The American directly opened the app on his PokeGear and showed it to him. Fortunately, they were alone in the office since everyone else was on break, so they didn't even have to worry about someone coming in to be a nuisance or, worse, hearing what they were talking about and misunderstanding.

\- You see, practically it is an application that allows the desperate poor who have not seen anyone since the earth separated from the waters (like you) to meet people in their vicinity interested in the same thing!

-And that would be? - Koga asked in an extremely annoyed tone.

\- ~~Fuckin~~ … Dating!

-I told you a hundred times that I couldn't care less about it. Not interested, in what language do I have to tell you to get it into that empty head of yours?!- okay, now Surge was willing to admit that that was a wrong approach. Too direct, too fast.

-And I tell you it wouldn't hurt you to try, so play along for once. So if you don't like it, you can always leave and whoever has seen has seen, just avoid killing them because your match happens to be annoying- Surge tried to argue, as reassuring as he could be. He almost felt as if he were trying to convince a particularly skittish cat.

-I don't have the time to look after such an idiotic idea and above all I'm not interested in seeing anyone at the moment, I'm fine like this- Koga replied stubbornly. At least he hadn’t puffed out of the room like he’d usually do, so it was a good sign.

-Sabrina agrees with me, too- Surge went on as if that alone proved him right, ignoring the raised eyebrow on Koga's face. It clearly said: "She never hungs out with anyone either, try harder"

-You can't keep going on smashing yourself between gym work and near-suicide missions for Team Rocket this way, alone. You must also need relaxation every now and then like any other human being, right?

-No. I'm fine like this and you can't make me change my mind. Surge clenched his fists harder, his frustration rising at astronomical levels. -Howewer, you have so many complains for how I live my life, but what about you? You hung out with a trainer or one of our grunts that catchs your eye sometimes, but I never heard of a stable relashionship with anyone from you. No right to complain about me, then-

Oh, not this crap again. He hated when Koga withdrew into himself like a porkupine, trying to pierce whoever came too close to his heart with his poisonous spikes.

He’d had enough. It was more than clear enough that he wouldn’t get anywhere with his words, so Lt Surge just bulldozed his way to where Koga was sitting and literally trew him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The ninja had such a scrawny frame that picking him up was a child’s play for Surge despite his resistance. He received a blow in the neck that hurt like hell for his boldness, but Surge just tightened his grip on Koga and marched out of the room toward his own office.

There, the other gym leader’d have no way of escaping from his plan. Even if paralyzing him with Magneton's Thunderwawe was what it took.

-Surge, you're a dead man! Let me go now! - sure that to be one used to live in the shadows and in silence when he wanted to, he knew how to make a crazy mess, the American thought. If he continued to wriggle and squirm like that they’d attract the attention of the whole building ... He sure as hell didn’t want to be summoned in the boss's office to explain what all this commotion was due to. Not a chance.

-Not until you’ll go along with my idea- Lt. Surge replied, grinning at his captive and making a show of not letting him go. Surge didn’t expect to feel a warm feeling flowing down his throat then, oh so dangerously near the jugular.

-What the hel-Where did you even take that ?! The boss had forbidden you to bring knives in here! - the feeling was blood… his fucking blood!

-Your "idea" is absolutely idiotic, I'm in no obligation to actually follow through with it at all. And I did warn you about letting me go!

-It was supposed to be a warning, not a fucking threat! And you can't go around slicing people' throats for something like that!

-Don't be so whiny! I’ve done it for much less, so don’t make such a fuss if you deserve it- Koga replied irritatedly, trying to break free from the soldier’s iron grip for the umpteenth time.

 _Deserve, my ass. You ..._ -You asshole! I don't even know why I'm helping you!- his whole face twitched with more and more aggravation but he adamantly refused to back down now. He had a goal to fullfill and this simply added to the list of pebbles he’d later take off his shoe.

-You're definitely not helping me with anything, Surge; you only want to have your fun at my expense. You just kidnapped me for no reason other than this moronic plan for getting me a partner I don't want! How does it classify as “helping” in your barbaric dictionary?-

They went on like that for the entire duration of the journey between one office and another, every step more similar to a fierce battle than a simple walk. When Surge finally arrived at the door, he was covered in so many more bruises, kick signs and cuts than he had ever suffered in his entire military career. To make it worse, when the Lieutenant did a favor to both of them and eventually put Koga down on the couch, that damn vixen had the gall not to even look ashamed for it! He even smirked at the sight of his fresh blood!

For a few meaningful moments they just stayed like that, quietly, staring at each other as if ready to jump at the other's throat at any time.

Eventually Surge let the feeling of “What I prepared is way more satisfying than this useless squabble” to win his internal struggle and put his bruised pride aside. Not yet. If he wanted to win this he had to be diplomatic, just once. So, he took out his phone again.

...

...

...

...

-You ever just look at two people and wonder why they haven’t kissed yet? -Giovanni wondered to no-one in particolar after having casually witnessed that pitiful spectacle, but the third elite elicted to answer anyway. Her aggravated groan adding up to his own at their childish antics in the hallway.

-Every. Single. Day- she felt her eye twitch so much it was a miracle her powers hadn’t spiraled out of control from a migraine yet –Every goddamned time I set foot in this building.

-Me too.

****************************************************

-Then, I need a name otherwise I can't register you. Better to use a pseudonym in these cases - Surge prompted, nudging the reluctant ninja in order to keep him grounded. Koga was probably distracting himself by coming up with several different ways to disembowel him, so he’d better extract the ninja from that line of thought as soon as possible.

-Kyō- was the lapidary reply.

 _Apricot?_ Surge thought, quickly translating from Kantonian. _What kind of name was that?_

-A credible name, at least. So they will immediately think that you are a bot.

-It’s my name- the icy glare trying to pierce Surge’s very being seemed to challenge him to repeat it. The American gulped, deciding to let the matter be this time - キョウ

-And if that is your name why have we wasted years of our life calling you Koga? - Surge asked sarcastically, but in reality he was a bit curious.

-That is the name I use for public needs and for your language, but my given name is Kyō. Don't give me that look, it's exactly the same for you, Matis Surge-

Surge felt his eye twitch.

-I told you countless times not to call me that. I'm LT Surge, the Lightning American! I don’t use that Kantonian name- it really irked him, everytime the other refer to him with that name ... Names weren’t something you could simply translate how you liked!

-Not my fault if you are Surge for the Westeners and Matis for us, Lieutenant.

-That's linguistic discrimination. Let's hear, then: why should you be Kyo for Eastern but still Koga for the others? In one way or another the language stays the same! - he retorted. Koga simply shrugged, dismissing the question.

-Anyway, it’d serve as a good pseudonym given that nobody but you and I know it’s true- he had a point, so the other was swift to enter the name in the required field.

-Age?

-39

-Really now? - he jokingly winked at him and Koga rolled his eyes.

-Yesterday you said you’re just a couple of years younger than me yourself.

-You just sound so old sometimes despite being relatively young. One more reason why this site is for you! - he ruthlessly teased, but refrained to add anything else when he felt something sharp grazing his cheek.

-Enough with this crap. What else does that blasted thing require?-

So skittish, indeed.

-What kind of people would you like dating? Something about your type? - in fact he had no idea, for him answering this question was the same as calculate the circumference of the Earth by mind. Oh, don't blame him, poor man. Simply, despite Koga having been married (he must have been with some poor woman if Janine was born, right? So they exist in this world), Surge had no idea about what to write. He certainly had very different preferences compared to Koga, characters much more carefree and fun than the serious and composed air that the other seemed to prefer. Although, in fact, considering the app they were using, the character was the last thing to matter there but perhaps it was better not to specify it. Not yet. He certainly didn't want to spoil his own fun.

-Nothing- Koga said curtly without even looking at the blond.

-How nothing? I have to write something here! - the American retorted before an evil idea flashed in his mind and a mischievous grin crossed his lips - Or give me carte blanche? Will I choose it for you? - Koga's whole being blanched at that. Surge bursted out laughing.

-So? - he felt like a cat with a cornered mouse. It felt amazing.

Kouga was seriously conflicted. Giving this barbarian carte blanche was out of the question, absolutely and without a shadow of doubt. But did he have something that could be called a "type"? For the umpteenth time he found himself cursing Surge, his barbaric ways (dragging him heavily into his office for such an idiotic foolishness! His eyes blazed with hate) and himself for not having killed him before being carried away by the aforementioned imbecile. It was not even an excuse that Giovanni had forbidden him to use weapons because for him they would not be necessary if he wanted to and Surge knew it.

Though, they both knew he wouldn't back down once he got into something, no matter how pointless or idiotic the matter was.

Koga glared at Surge for a good minute (the American thought he was being too much dramatic about all this, making such a big deal out of a simple matter, but he took good care not to tell his colleague). At (long) last, _finally_ , Koga gave in.

-Serious. Not noisy nor nosy. I don't care about looks. Not chicken brains-

This way I have more “not this” than statements, but I can start from these elements- he complained, but still had the job done (after a few adjustments for fun, of course).

"Now let's see, what's missing ...?" he thought, glancing quickly through the categories left to fill out. Name, done. Age and corresponding age target, done. Likes … after a painstakingly long, life-dangering struggle, done. He eyed the next one… and laughed to himself. "I'm not even asking him this," he thought. Surge pondered over it seriously for a while, took a fleeting glimpse of Koga, miraculously distracted and (for him) blissfully unaware of why he would have been compelled to strangle him there and then had he known what Surge was about to do.

He thought about it again, caressing the idea. He weighted his options.

The idea remained tempting even after the third time he thought about it.

Will Koga disembowel him and feed his mangled rests to his Crobats? Probably.

Will it be worth it? _Hell yes._

His self-preservation instinct? Nowhere in sight.

Perfect.

He filled out the rest of the profile description with a great deal of imaginative wickedness.

_"His poisonous clutches, deadly as the Boa Constrictor"_

Sent.

Now, they wait for the system to find a match. Let's see what fun it will conjure up.

He couldn’t wait. He had just signed both his own death warrant and the best entertainment he’d have for ages to come, that he knew. Ages, as for the few moments he’ll have left until his (brutal, slow and agonizing) demise by Koga’s ever loving hands.

Surge smiled.

**********************************

Two days later in Celadon, neutral territory ...

-Enter or I'll call the boss today and have us assigned an undercover mission as a fake couple- Surge threatened jerking Koga again in hopes of making him enter the restaurant without making an (excessive) scene.

-You wouldn’t dare- the latter was utterly horrified at the sole mention of such scenario. Seeing such an expression, Surge was tempted to do it for real only to see Koga’s reaction. Almost.

-Test me.

-You wouldn't give up your fame as a womanizer just to spite me- Koga countered spitefully, still unwilling to move a single centimeter from his position well planted on the ground.

-Are you sure?- he grinned, sinfully satisfied by the other's misery.

-I hate you.

-Have fun in there. I’m sure you’ll thank me when this is all over.

-Really hate you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when the next chapter will be post, but I hope you enjoyed this.  
> What do you think about Surge plan? Will it work or Koga will dismember him first for having dared?
> 
> Prompt used: 2 - 9 - 14
> 
> P.S. Translation really is a pain to do. Thankfully, Google translate exists for helping writers in dire waters.


End file.
